Don't Kiss Me, I'm Not Irish

the best things in life are small and fuzzy.

 

For my 22nd birthday my parents asked what I wanted. I told them I wanted the same thing I did when I was 5. I wanted a roly poly puppy with all the trims. 
My sister and boyfriend are now full time babysitters. 
They didn't ask for a puppy. They got one by default.

Crystal Glasses.

highway. to. heaven.

A cop pulls over a car load of nuns. The cop says, "Sister, this is a 55 MPH highway. Why are you going so slow?"The Sister replies, "Sir, I saw a lot of signs that said 41, not 55." The cop answers, "Oh, Sister, that's not the speed limit, that's the name of the highway you are on!" The Sister says, "Oh! Silly me! Tha...nks for letting me know. I'll be more careful." At this point, the cop looks in the backseat where the other nuns are shaking and trembling. The cop asks, "Excuse me, Sister, what's wrong with your friends back there? They are shaking something terrible." The Sister answers, "Oh, we just got off Highway 101."

Do you know where they hide the answers?

I'm scared she whispered to her pillow.
It stayed mute.
Unhelpful pillow.